Acting Appropriately

There are things our children do that are absolutely objectionable. They may be dangerous, disrespectful, or even illegal. Sometimes they do or say things that are objectionable, but are very cute, demonstrate high intelligence and/or express feelings that we share with them, but for any number of reasons we don’t want to share with the world.

A 30-year veteran Marriage Family and Child therapist, mother of five, and grandmother of 10, Lorraine Al-Jamie helps parents to acquire skills that enhance their ability to raise high-functioning and happy children.

Establishing Relationships

THE building of relationships depends on building common interests. This process begins at birth, and you can observe it when mothers and fathers hold their newborns and echo the sounds that their newborns make. For their parents, everything young babies do is fascinating and this makes the task easier. Whether it is just seeing them yawn for the first time, or their first sneeze, each new thing provides a new shared experience. However, as they get older they sometimes become interested in things that are meaningless to us: for instance, mom will have little interest in the toy truck her little boy is pushing around. However, at that age the mother is still captivated by the child’s enjoyment and, therefore, remains present and sometimes involved. But I think we have all experienced a situation in which we, lost in our own thoughts, have struggled to pay attention to our child while he tugs our clothes saying, “Mommy” or “Daddy.” However, if we do make the effort to engage with our children, there is much satisfaction to be had in the interaction.

Time-Outs

Parents have long used “time-outs” as a technique to stop unacceptable behavior; however, time-outs are not just an effective punishment. They also give children an opportunity to calm down and gain self-control.

タイムアウト(今いる場所から強制的に退去させ、別の場所で一定 時間過ごさせること)」は、子供の容認できない行動をやめさせる ために以前から用いられている手法です。単なる“お仕置き”で はなく、気持ちを落ち着かせ自制心を養うチャンスを子供に与えるという 効果があります。

What is the most beneficial way to reward your children?

Buy them a new toy? Allow them to stay up later? Let them watch a special TV show?

These may or may not have positive effects, but none of them can compare with the undivided attention of a parent.

Older children may deny that they require attention from their parents; however, it is possible to see the impact extra attention can have. With younger children, the results are often visible straight away. They respond with smiles and can be encouraged to try new things. Eventually you may notice an increase in your child’s self-esteem as they grow older.

充実の時

子供にとって一番

励みになるのは何だと思います

新しいおもちゃを買ってあげる?遅くまで起きていること を認める?特別なテレビ番組を見させてあげる?

こうしたインセンティブが効果的かどうかはさておき、い ずれも親が子供にしっかり目を向けることとは比べようも ありません。

子 供は大きくなると、親が自分に注目することを拒むかも しれません。しかし、親の注目は必ず効果をもたらします。 子供が小さければ、その結果はストレートに現れます。子 供は笑顔を見せ、新しいことに挑戦しようとするでしょう。 子供が大きくなれば、子供の自尊心の高まりが感じられる かもしれません。