Time-Outs

INTERMEDIATE Listening, Comprehension & Vocabulary Exercise

Part 1

Listen to and read the following short passage.

Parents have long used “time-outs” as a technique to stop unacceptable behavior; however, time-outs are not just an effective punishment. They also give children an opportunity to calm down and gain self-control.

Time-outs can be used as a consequence of misbehavior, and they can be used to stop a situation from escalating. Sometimes both situations will justify calling a time-out. For instance, when children are fighting you not only want to stop what is going on at that moment but also want to try to remove the idea that fighting is acceptable. With the time-out comes your responsibility to teach alternative responses to negative situations.

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Part 2

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A time-out can be a very useful technique, but like any technique it will lose its effectiveness when overused.

For a time-out to be effective, the child must be mature enough to understand the concept. Usually, two year olds can understand the idea of stopping and waiting for some time. But we also find the technique effective with all ages over two - even adults.

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Part 3

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Time-outs have benefits in response to numerous behaviors, including temper tantrums, destructiveness, fighting and talking back. However, time-outs do not have as much of an effect on behaviors like failing to do a task, forgetting to do something or pouting. Time-outs help children reinforce the relationship between behavior and consequences, and they are effective for helping children learn self-control. They also help by not feeding into negative emotions. When parents respond to misbehavior by yelling or screaming, the situation goes downhill quickly. Time-outs are not only effective for helping the child to calm down, but time-outs also allow parents to calm down and think rationally so they can make a wise decision on how to take care of the situation.

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Part 4

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When choosing a time-out location, make sure it is a quiet area with as few distractions as possible. There should be no toys, television or family members. This will allow the child to be removed from attention and stimulation, allowing them to compose themselves and think about their unacceptable behavior.

Parents need to choose the length of time or else it becomes meaningless. How long should a time-out be? Generally, the time limit is one minute for each year of a child’s age up to the age of eight, which is when they are old enough to sit for 15 minutes or longer.

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Part 5

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As we are putting a child into a time-out, we want the child to understand what behavior caused it. The directions you give your child should not be a discussion but a simple question from you, an answer from the child and your direction. I think one of the biggest mistakes parents make is talking too much. This makes the experience lose its impact and leaves the child with negativity. Direct the child to think about what just happened and how his behavior might have been more acceptable. Then, when you talk to them later, they may have some input. We can ask the child after what he could have done differently to avoid a fight. There are times when parents misuse a time-out as a penalty without trying to correct the behavior. This does little or nothing to help the child change his behavior.

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Part 6

Listen to and read the following short passage.

It is necessary to keep track of the length of the time-out. A good technique to announce the end of the time-out that helps you regulate the time and has impact for the child, especially young children, is using a timer with a loud ring.

Consistency is the key for successful time-outs as it is with all parenting techniques, and it is important that the child stays in the time-out. If the child tries to leave, calmly take the child back and restart the timer. If your child refuses to stay, you may physically need to restrain him there. However, be sure to stay calm as you hold him there because yelling or screaming from you will only feed into the child’s dramatic reactions. This may have to be repeated until the child accepts the fact that leaving the time-out area will not be accepted. We would hope from time-outs that the child will learn acceptable behaviors and different ways of responding to problematic situations. tj

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